Not Quite Children
by addledwalrus
Summary: Just a short crack fic in which the Micronations are their actual ages, in human years. I need to think of a better title. Warning: Character Death (?)
1. Prologue

It had all started with the broken TV at Wy's place. The boys' fun and games had gone out of hand and Ladonia had shoved Sealand a little too hard.

"Stupid boys, why can't you act your age?!" Wy had screamed in frustration. The hour or so that followed was a haze.

When Sealand came to, he woke up to see Wy staring down at him in shock.

"Sealand...what happened to you?"

"Huh?"

"You've changed..."

"I've changed? How?" Something was different about his voice...it was a lot deeper. "Why is my voice so deep?"

"Here!" Wy cried, shoving a hand mirror in Sealand's direction, before dashing out of the room in a panic.

* * *

Sealand ran his hand over his forehead and saw the deep wrinkles, greying hair and the poorly matched sailor uniform. Dropping the mirror, he screamed at the top of his lungs, waking everyone.

"Keep it down..." A red-haired teenager moaned, rising into a sitting position and glancing at the now middle-aged Sealand. "Who are you?"

"I'm Sealand!"

"You're Sealand?!"

"I am!"

"I think I'm going to be sick..." The boy gagged, standing up abruptly and running off to the bathroom.

"Art..." A young man next to Sealand muttered sleepily. He opened his eyes slowly and gazed up at the ceiling before turning to look at Sealand.

"Growing old is art..."

On the couch sat another middle-aged man, who didn't look much older than Sealand. His head, which was once covered with wavy brown hair, was now mostly bald.

Sealand couldn't resist laughing out loud, much to the annoyance of Molossia, who appeared to have shrunk a little.

* * *

"It's not fair, how come you still look the same?!"

"I was founded in 2004, so I'm really only nine years old!"

"I-I was founded in 1967..." Sealand moaned. "So that would make me...forty six. Why?!"

He buried his face in his hands and began to bawl.

"Oh, it's not all bad. I'm forty three..." Hutt River said reassuringly.

"But you're an adult! I'm still a kid!"

"Stop complaining! At least you haven't shrunk like me!" Molossia yelled, but they didn't pay attention.

"How could this happen?!"

"Actually, I think it was my fault..." Wy said guiltily.

"Wha-?"

"Remember when I told you all to act your own ages?"

"Yes..." They said in unison, and it all began to click in their minds. It was still unclear exactly what had happened, but it was apparent their bodies had all changed to match their true age, regardless of mental maturity. Ladonia, for one, had grown into a teenager.

"Hey, I think someone's missing!" Molossia suddenly spoke up.

"Who?"

"Beats me..."

There was a uncomfortable silence as everyone tried to process who was absent. Wy looked up at the clock.

"Dust is art..." Kugelmugel finally said.

"Dust? What dust?" Sealand asked nervously.

"This..." Kugelmugel replied, pointing to a mound of dust next to the chair behind him.

"Oh shiz.." Molossia gasped.

"Seborga...NO!" Sealand cried, his face turning white.

* * *

**Sorry for the slightly sad ending. Yes, Seborga did turn into a pile of dust (he's over a thousand years old, what were you expecting?).**

**Based on the date each micronation was founded, Hutt River and Sealand would be in their forties, Kugelmugel would be about 29 and Ladonia and Molossia would be teenagers.**

**Should I continue this story? Please let me know.**


	2. Goodbye, Seborga

The Micronations all stood silently around the mound of dust in the living room as if paying their respects. Finally, Sealand spoke.

"Seborga, this isn't fair." He moaned, burying his head in his hands.

"Wh-what do we do?" Wy asked, her voice shaking.

"Give him a proper burial...if that's even possible." Hutt River muttered.

"How does one bury dust?" Kugelmugel inquired with grave seriousness.

"I don't know." Hutt River replied.

At that moment, Ladonia looked over at the living room table and saw the vase of flowers on it. He then glanced at the pile of dust, before exclaiming in excitement.

"I have an idea!"

Wy froze as she watched Ladonia grab the vase and tip the flowers in the bin. He rushed over towards the window and began scooping up the dust and dropping it into the vase with his hands.

"What are you staring at? Come help me!"

Everyone got down on their knees reluctantly and hesitantly touched the remains of their friend. Would Ladonia's plan really work out?

After twenty minutes of scraping their hands against the rough carpet, they stood up on their numb legs and eyed their reddened palms.

"I think that's all of it..." Sealand sighed, fingering his left palm tiredly.

"Why did you have to use the vase?" Wy asked Ladonia, her eye twitching.

"Well, Swe always tells me stories of when he was a kid. You see, there was one time where he attended a guy's funeral and - "

"Now Ladonia, don't talk about such dark things in front of the kids." Hutt River cut in. Ladonia sent a glare in his direction.

"You two are missing the point. We need to figure out what happened to us and how we can fix it!"

"Nice try, Captain Obvious!" Ladonia sneered at Sealand.

"Boys, calm down! How about we all put on some _proper _clothing before we go out?" Hutt River suggested, trying his best to keep the two from clawing at each other.

"Oh!" Sealand exclaimed, tugging at the sailor uniform he was still wearing. "Does anyone have spare clothes I can borrow?"

"I could steal some of Australia's shirts, but I'm not sure if they would actually fit you. You have gotten pretty fat..."

"Wy, that was mean. You didn't really mean it, did you?" Sealand whimpered, feeling around his stomach and waist.

"She's right. You need to lay off the candy bars..." Molossia snickered.

"Shut up!"

* * *

"Here." Wy said as she threw a pile of t-shirts, pants and shorts in front of Sealand. "I picked the baggiest ones I could find."

"What about me?" Kugelmugel said timidly. He now had the appearance of a grown man dressed like a little Austrian schoolboy, which was quite an absurd sight indeed.

Wy sighed in annoyance. "Sorry, I forgot. I'll go and get something for you...and Ladonia, too."

"No, there's no way I'm wearing some other guy's clothes! I'm fine as it is!"

"OK, just for Kugelmugel then."

Wy dashed out the door and was back fifteen minutes later with a clean shirt and pants. She tossed them in Kugelmugel's direction and he only barely caught them, before wandering to a corner by himself as Wy walked outside to give him and the others some privacy.

Moments later, the phone in the house began to ring and Hutt River went to answer.

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Australia. Is Wy around?"

* * *

**Since people were asking, I've decided to continue this. Any ideas of what might happen next?  
**


	3. Wy Loses It

Hutt River placed the receiver down gently and turned in the direction of the front door.

"Wy, Australia's on the phone! He wants to talk to you."

Outside, Wy froze. Australia wanted to talk to her. He must have found out she'd done something she wasn't supposed to do, but he couldn't have seen her, could he? She had made sure to be as quiet as possible.

She took a deep breath and walked inside slowly, to where Hutt River was waiting. She picked up the receiver.

"Hello..."

"Hi, Wy. It's only me, Australia. Don't worry, you're not in trouble."

Wy sighed in relief. "What do you want to talk to me about?"

"A few minutes ago, I looked out the window and saw you running off with some of my clothes. What are you up to?"

Wy blushed and turned to Hutt River sheepishly, as if she were expecting him to give her an answer. She relaxed after a few seconds and turned back around.

"Um...we're just playing dress-ups! That's what we're doing!"

"Oh? Well, have fun! Just remember to return my clothes later. Bye."

The line went silent and Wy hung up the receiver in disbelief at the lie she had just told. She looked at Sealand and Kugelmugel in their new changes of clothes and mentally slapped herself. How she could be so stupid? This was more than a simple dress-up game! Those two boys would have to dress like that until a solution was found, and who knew when that would be?

She had a brief urge to call Australia again and tell him the truth but then again, she couldn't have him finding out. She'd be in the deepest trouble if he did. So, in the meantime, she made up her mind to hide the dilemma as best as she could.

She slumped down on the couch, overwhelmed by everything that had happened so far.

* * *

"England might be able to help us!" Sealand exclaimed excitedly, and Wy jumped up from the couch.

"Really?! Tell me!"

"He could do some magic and restore us to our normal ages!"

"The question is, what _are _our normal ages?" asked Kugelmugel. "I think I like being an adult..."

"Wy, call England now! We don't have time to waste!"

"I know!" She snapped at Sealand, as she ran over to the phone again.

* * *

"So, what did he say?" Sealand asked nervously as Wy finished her phone call.

"He said he's going to figure something out, but it will take at least a week." She shot an angry look at Hutt River. "You're an adult, why aren't you helping?!"

"Well, Sealand and Kugelmugel are technically adults now too. Shouldn't you be asking them?"

"Arrgghhh!" Wy screamed in frustration.

Meanwhile, Ladonia turned to Sealand with a smirk on his face. "You're an old man now. You should start acting like it!"

"Never! I will always be twelve at heart!" Sealand protested, crossing his arms around his chest and pouting.

* * *

**Hopefully, this story won't drag on for too long. I'm planning a maximum of ten chapters.**

**Let me know if you enjoyed this or not.**


	4. Ladonia the Teenager

England sat at his computer, going through his e-mail inbox. He was alerted by a new message and quickly clicked on the icon, opening up a link. An image loaded in front of him, and he stared at it for a while before he realized who the man in the photo was.

He very nearly fell out of his chair in laughter.

* * *

Sweden was at home, busy preparing breakfast when he heard his doorbell ring. He strode towards the door, expecting to see Finland or any of the other Nordics.

He opened it and found himself looking down at a red-haired teenage boy. He didn't recognize them at first, but when he saw the streak of paint on the boy's nose, he realized who it was.

"Ladonia, what happened to you?" Sweden asked, blinking and taking off his glasses so that he could wipe them.

"I've finally grown up! Please, let me do adult stuff now!" Ladonia begged. He bunched up his fists and tried to put on a desperate expression.

"No." Sweden answered, putting his glasses on.

"Why not, Swe?! I'm mature!" Ladonia whined. When Sweden did not say anything further, he followed the older nation inside in frustration.

* * *

Sealand, Wy, Kugelmugel, Hutt River and Molossia exited the airport, dragging their luggage along behind them. They had originally planned to travel to London together as a complete group, but Ladonia had decided at the last minute that he wanted to stop at Sweden's place. They had questioned him as to why, but he simply refused to give an answer.

"Wow, it's actually sunny here." Wy said in surprise as she looked around her.

"Of course. It doesn't rain _all _the time, you know."

"So how do we get to England's house?" Kugelmugel asked, tugging on Sealand's sleeve. Sealand turned from Wy to him.

"Just follow me and don't get lost!" He bellowed at the top of his voice, attracting amused stares from the various people around him. A young woman giggled to herself. Sealand froze.

"Why is everyone looking at me like that?"

"You're an old guy, you're not supposed to act like a hyperactive twelve-year-old!" Wy hissed.

"Sorry...I forgot..."

* * *

"Holy crap, you really have grown!" Denmark yelled as he lay eyes on Ladonia. "What have you been feeding him, Sweden?! Tell me!"

"Nothing. He came home like that. I don't know what happened." Sweden muttered from the kitchen.

Norway entered the house and also caught a glimpse of grown-up Ladonia sitting on the couch. He came to a stop and stared hard at the Micronation, as if he were trying to see through him and find out what was behind. Ladonia squirmed, feeling quite uncomfortable.

"Magic." Norway finally said, averting his eyes. Ladonia immediately relaxed.

"What do you mean, magic?" Denmark asked, staring in Norway.

"I mean, his miraculous growth was caused by some kind of spell, stupid."

"Norge, magic isn't real..."

"Says the one who still believes in mermaids."

"Mermaids..." Ladonia said in amusement, and found himself chuckling at Denmark's apparent naïvety. Seriously, what kind of grown man would still think they were real?

Denmark heard Ladonia's laughter and spun around with a hostile look on his face. Ladonia abruptly forced himself to stop.

"You didn't hear anything that I said, you understand?" He said threateningly, as his face hovered dangerously close.

"N-no, I didn't..." Ladonia stammered. He never thought Denmark could look so frightening, since he had always seen him as the loud, air-headed one out of the Nordics.

"Good." Denmark said, breaking into a grin. He backed away from Ladonia and turned back to Norway.

"So Norge, care to explain _how _a spell could make someone look older?"


End file.
